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A Day in the Life of Lucy: 52

Lucy: *to snapchat* Have you ever noticed how the width of a mountain dew mini is like that of a really fat dick?  Also Lucy: *also to snapchat* Are cupcakes like… gay muffins, or are they just muffins who believed in miracles… but then… what are breakfast muffins? Are they morning people? If we’re being fair, then there should be night owl muffins too… I need to look this up.

5. Minutes. Later.

Lucy: *back on snapchat* EVERYTHING WE KNOW IS A LIE! All muffins can be eaten for breakfast. I’ve also decided that muffins are just those really annoying people who work out and health healthy and shit and look good … their annoying because they make me feel like a slacker Other Lucy: *yelling from a distance* YOU ARE A SLACKER Lucy: Do me a favor, Lucy 2.0, why don’t you politely… fuck off.  Other Lucy: *rolls eyes* Lucy: Now, if muffins are healthy eaters. Then, that means cupcakes are those people who eat whatever the FUCK they want and STILL LOOK AMAZING. … … … I hate those people… but I don’t hate cupcakes… Probably because I want to eat cupcakes… *dirty thoughts ensue*

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