• Lucy Smoke

A Day in the Life of Lucy: 45

Friend: What are you doing? Lucy: *body crawling on the living room floor* Nothing, just working something out. Friend: *looks around* what are you trying to work out? Lucy: How long it takes for someone to body crawl a mile. *continues wiggling back and forth* Friend: And how are you keeping track of that? Lucy: *pauses* *whispers* fuck…

Three. Days. Later.

Lucy: Hey, L, do you happen to have a lighter I can borrow? L: What happened to all of your candle lighters? Lucy: Um… can you let me borrow your lighter before I tell you? L: *squints* what did you do? Lucy: *scuffs shoe on floor* It’s nothing, I’ll clean it up. L: *Walks out into yard* WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?  Lucy: I was trying to see if you could burn an S.O.S into grass using a lighter and if it would be big enough for people to see in the sky. L: Why does it say “Ryan Reynolds is my man”?  Lucy: Because he is.

Four. Hours. Earlier.

Friend: Will you please stop watching deadpool?! That is not an accurate representation of–JESUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Lucy: Ryan Reynolds is teaching me how to fight. I need to know this so I can write about it. Friend: No! Stop that! Lucy: NEVER! Oh… I got an idea! What if my character was stranded on an island of grass and rock. No shade. Nothing. How would they get off? Friend: An SOS?  Lucy: *eyes get real big* I need lighters! *runs off* Friend: I think I preferred it when you asked me to choke you… Lucy: *somewhere far away* IT WAS FOR RESEARCH!

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