A Day in the Life of Lucy: 4

Lucy: A pore strip ripped off a patch of my skin…

C: OMG put VASELINE on it!

Lucy:… Who the fuck actually carries vaseline? What does that do but like… lubricate shit?

C: …

Lucy: …

C: You gon’ learn today, son.

Lucy: I’m a woman but okay.

C: It can… smooth your hair.

Prep your skin for perfume so it lasts

Highlight your skin when you don’t have luminizer

Remove makeup stains from clothing

Turn loose powder makeup into cream makeup

Define your lashes

Remove makeup

Eyelash glue remover

Lucy: Hair is fine. Perfume lasting is fine. What the fuck is luminizer? Some sort of singing candelabra? I don’t wear enough make up for that. Don’t wear powder make up. Lashes are fine… no fake eyelashes – too much work.

C: WD-40 substitute. Homemade slug repellent.

Lucy:… you’re making this shit up now.

C: No I’m not!

Lucy: I have like… that.. rubby shit

The um…

The shit that goes on your face

Um…

Fuck, what’s it called?

The stuff that “Stops you from aging” but doesn’t really?

MOISTURIZER?!

Maybe.

I think that’s it