A Day in the Life of Lucy: 28

Lucy: *on snapchat* why am I always alone?

Lucy pretending to be a modern man: *creepily* hey baby how are you?

Lucy: This makes me decidedly uncomfortable… *GASP* that’s why!

Lucy: Ppl don’t know how to flirt anymore. Like… we need to bring courting back. I’m talking Medieval up in this shiz. Treat me like I’m Elizabeth the first. COURT ME LIKE YOU’RE GONNA GET A GODDAMN COUNTRY OUT OF THIS!

*pig stutters*

T-t-t-thats all folks!