A Day in the Life of Lucy: 22
Lucy: I need to hire someone to put this desk together. It is tiny, but very frustrating.
Lucy: I am an artist, not a desk-putter-togetherer
C: I don’t do building shit. I had to get marriage counseling after my first ikea attempt with my husband.
C: HE DIDNT KEEP THE SCREWS SEPARATE. WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DOES THAT?
Cora: I couldn’t handle the betrayal. They were strewn around the floor in pieces, like my shattered heart.
Lucy: Idc as long as it gets put together. Maybe I’ll hire the boyfriend position. That’s what they’re good for, right?
1 position available. Title: Boyfriend
Must be able to put furniture together in a timely manner.
Must enjoy cuddles and Dogs.
Benefits: Sex and food… and cuddles
Cuddles are non-negotiable.
C: you should add “Quality of built furniture must be able to withstand angry sex against/on top of it.”
Lucy: Fantastic idea. But it really is a small desk. My dad got it for me.
Lucy: Only sociopaths give their daughters unassembled furniture.